Dear Heatwave,

Listen Bro, we’ve got some problems.

To start, your incessant temperature spikes drive me insane.  Who enjoys weather that is well into the 90’s? I didn’t like the 90’s even when I was growing up in the 90’s, okay? There is nothing fun you can do in this weather.  The beach is unbearable.  Sitting in the shade is a bit better but still far from enjoyable.  Work is bearable because that’s where I can find air conditioning.  And Sleep? Forget it.  You’ve ruined my relationship with Sleep for the foreseeable future.

Then there are the people who are excited for your arrival.  You know who your supporters are — those people who “run cold” and need to lay out in the sun on a rock in order to generate body heat.  These amphibious individuals confound me.  How does the harsh sun you brought to the party not causes these people have sweat slowly dribbling down their lower back? It’s not normal.

There are so many things about you that I can’t stand.  And, quite frankly, I think I may hate you.

I know that nothing I say to you will make you leave faster but I do think I saw a back to school commercial the other day which means Fall isn’t far away and that means cold air is just a few more weeks.  Until then, I’ll battle you with my trusty Fan.

Waiting for you to leave,

Olivia

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